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Peter the lazyass
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Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, it’s time to end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: LET’S GET READY TO RUMBBBBLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!
Somewhere in rooftop on a skyscraper at night, two figures glared upon one another. One figure was a large African-American man with cornrow-like hair. He has the typical appearance of a brute, donning a blue torn muscle shirt, and boxing trunks of the same blue hue. The man wears blood red boxing gloves and on his wrists are white wrist wrap. Finally, on his feet are boxing boots black as the night sky.
The second person is another African-American, although slightly shorter and older than his counterpart. His clothes includes of the following, a blue workout shirt said “Combo Gym” with three stars on top of the text, blue shorts representing the American flag, blue boxing shoes going up to his ankle, and red fingerless Mixed Martial Arts gloves, with wrist wrap on his right bicep. But despite what he’s wearing, the most noticeable thing about the man are his scarred arms.
After a few seconds of just standing around and staring, the larger man finally broke the silence.
I gotta admit, I’m surprised that you have the guts to show up alone.” He spoke with a smug grin. “Ultratech’s gonna pay me enough money to get me out of Shadaloo once I take you in!”
“Don’t you get it? Ultratech is playing you for a chump!” The other man protested, as if he’s trying to reason with him “Once Ultratech don’t need you anymore, they’ll toss you out like yesterday’s trash!”
“The only chump I see is you,” The first man laughed, “Come quietly and maybe I won’t be the crap outta you!”
“I don’t think so,” The second man refused, and putting up his fists. “You’ll have to fight me first.”
“I was actually hoping you would say ‘no’,” The larger man said, punching his fists together before putting up said fists. “The world will soon know the new champion, me… Balrog!”
The second man then finally grinned, in truth he too was hoping to beat the sense out of him.
“TJ Combo’s the name, and thanks for the intro.” The older man said, still posing. “But you got what it takes to take on this champ?”
The two fighters dashed towards one another, fists raised to strike. Balrog used his Dash Straight while TJ used Powerline. Both of the men’s fists interconnect to the other man’s fist. In real life, their punches would shatter their hands and be both painful, but instead, the force caused both boxers to stumble back.
Neither man backed down and both charged at each other again at high speeds. Balrog was just about the perfect distance to uppercut him with his Dash Upper but he then saw his opponent jumping towards him that he has never seen doing…
TJ Combo is using his lower limb to attack, called a Flying Knee, which appropriately enough, struck Balrog in the chin and stunning him from both the attack itself and the fact that he’s actually using his foot to attack. After Combo landed on the ground, he continued his assault towards Balrog.
Balrog recovered in time and blocked from the relentless pummeling from TJ, with the occasional bob and weave. The pinned fighter felt the impact of the attacks that did came into contact and felt the attacks hitting him on his whole torso, but it’s nothing that he can’t handle. Despite of this, he knew that he couldn’t keep up with his opponent’s attacks, and need to start using his head…
TJ held his fist back at a 45 degree angle to deliver a hook. But that split-second pause was enough for a…
Balrog grabbed TJ’s head and headbutts him relentlessly. Over and over, Combo’s cranium felt like it’s going to crack like a nut and need to get out of this predicament. TJ fought off his disorientation, and decided that if his opponent’s going to fight dirty, so will he.
The Shadaloo enforcer pulled his head back to ram him one more time, before he felt an excruciating pain coming from his nether regions. Balrog immediately keeled over in agony while letting out a high-pitched, shriek. He barely glimpsed at dazed TJ and concluded that his target kneed him in the groin.
While both combatants came to their senses senses, Balrog roared at him:
“KICKING ME IN THE NUTS?! WHAT THE HELL MAN?!”
“Hey, if you’re going to fight dirty, so will I.” Combo retorted, before launching himself in the air.
Balrog didn’t have time to recover from his pain and can only watch as he saw his opponent’s fist in flames before coming in contact to his face. He can smell his cheek being burned and his molars loosening, and after the impact, his head got knocked back. Finally, he felt the wind getting knocked out of his as his torso was being used like a punching bag, causing him to keel over again.
TJ continuously jabs Balrog mercilessly while the latter barely able to keep his composure. Then, Combo paused but not out of mercy, but rather to give a coup-de-grace. The older champ swung his fist like a propeller, spinning faster and faster with every passing second. In the meantime, Balrog regained his composure and turned up to look at TJ, only to see him delivering his Winding Uppercut.
The uppercut came into contact to his chin, launching him about ten feet in the air, before crash-landing onto the concrete floor. The impact left a silhouette shaped crater on the ground and it was a miracle that both Balrog still being alive and the roof not collapsing.
The Elephant killer saw TJ jumped back a few meters away and stretched his arm to do his Powerline attack again. His punch jettisoned towards Balrog like a bullet, hoping to knock him out in one blow. But this time, he’s ready.
Balrog turned his back and fist away from Combo before thrusting out his Turn Punch. By the time TJ found out what was going on, it was too late, and he felt his jaw almost being shattered by his opponent’s fist. He flew like a pinball struck by the lever and slid across before hitting his back on the roof’s curb.
TJ was lucky he didn’t fell off the roof and rubbed his jaw, relieved that he can still eat solid food. The curb broke his slide, but felt the painful bruise coming from within. He then saw the lumbering behemoth charging at him again like a bull, Combo got up to his feet, and returned the favor by charging as well. Only this time, when the two were at a punching distance, TJ rolled away and sucker punched Balrog in the stomach with his Rolling Thunder.
Balrog nearly lost his dinner from the blow and blocked a cross from his opponent, he decided not to hold back any further, and charged at him again with his Dash Upper. Only this time, he was successful as Combo was sent flying almost as high as Balrog did previously before crash landing with the same results as his predecessor. He sadistically grinned as he charged at TJ, not giving him a chance to recover.
Combo was in a sea of pain as he lied on the floor writhing and groaning away but then heard running footsteps towards him, knowing that it spells trouble, he rolled away just in time from being trampled. The rush of adrenaline gave him a boost to ignore the pain he was in as he got up to his feet. TJ rushed at him back and delivered another Flying Knee towards Balrog, only for him to dodge in time.
“There’s no escape!” Balrog bellowed, before TJ can do anything, and he unleased the Crazy Buffalo: A powerful jab with his right, another equally powerful jab his left, a cross with his right, and a left hook that caused Combo’s body to stagger in the opposite direction. He then finishes off with another Turn Punch to Combo, collapsing him in the ground with a thud.
Combo was in all fours, he felt like he was hit by speeding cars in a highway rather than getting punched. One of his ribs felt like it cracked and his nose was dripping blood like a leaking faucet. But defeat is not on his mind as he did his best to fight off the pain.
He saw his opponent’s feet walking towards him closer and closer before he felt his hair being pulled…hard…TJ can feel his hair yanked out by the scalp finally leaving out a grunt of pain. Combo then saw the dumb grin on Balrog’s face, he saw that one of his teeth was missing, he would laugh too, if wasn’t in pain.
“I’m almost impressed old man,” He chuckled sadistically, “But let me rephrase the word: ‘almost’ your time is over…”
“I’m not done yet, you punk.” Combo replied defiantly, and proved it by spitting at his face.
“I was gonna turn you in alive, but you made me do this!” Balrog roared as he pulled his Gigaton Blow when he pulled his body and fist to his right and Turn Punched viciously, then he gave another Turn Punch just as savage as before.
TJ collapsed to the ground, this time the pain was too unbearable and couldn’t help but screamed. If his previous attack felt like a speeding car hit him, this time it was a speeding train.
“Finally, I was waiting for you to scream!” Balrog laughed sadistically before unleashing his Dirty Bull attack.
He picked TJ up again and headbutts him hard, before stomping on his foot with a loud CRUNCH, and finishing off with a brutal cross punch.
Combo crashes down on the floor, too weak to get up, and saw everything becoming darker. His eyelids getting heavier as Balrog’s sadistic laughter fading away, he’s too weak to move, let alone fight ever again. That’s it, there’s nothing left but to fade away in a whimper…
He won’t accept defeat, TJ went too far to turn back now, and there’s no chance in hell that he will lose to Ultratech’s new lapdog. TJ then felt rejuvenating sensation all over his body. As if his most severe injuiries are healing up and all of his pain is going away, and in fact, he felt better than ever!
As Balrog was about to leave the battle until he heard a voice, a voice he thought he finished off.
“Is that the best you can do?”
He turned his head and saw TJ standing still, almost as he was before as he gave a “Come at me” gesture.
Most fighters would be furious or shocked at their opponent’s tenacity, but for Balrog, it was more time to torture him, as he sadistically smiled.
“Good, I was hoping it would last longer!” And then he charged at him like a speeding bull.
But this time, when Balrog went close to him, TJ slammed his fist on the ground, unleashing a shockwave that knocked Balrog out of his ass.
Before Balrog discovered what the hell was going on, Combo went and gave him the reason why he’s called “Combo” In a speed of a bullet, TJ punches his face like a speed bag, followed by a cross to face, knocking more his teeth out. Finishing off a hook that sends him stumbling backward. Combo ran up to him and sends him a series of knee strikes in the stomach and the solar plexis, causing Balrog to cough up blood.
Balrog needed to get out of this fast, and hoping to do so soon as Combo paused to give another cross. He then pulled out his back and fist away from him, hoping to give TJ another surprise Gigaton Blow…
But Combo caught wind of this and slaps him away like a pimp.
His Spinning Backhand knocked Balrog to the ground, hitting the floor with a crash.
But TJ was not finished, he’s got a bone to pick with him, as the scars on his arms glowed blue energy. The said energy surging him with enough adrenaline to finish him off….for good.
Balrog didn’t have enough time to get up as TJ grabbed him by the legs and powerbombs him by slamming his body on the ground, he then mercilessly gave a barrage of punches so fast, it looked like he has multiple fists. The fists are flying so fast that Balrog couldn’t block or dodge any of them, let alone fight back. The final punch, sent him flying in the air, destroying his jaw in the process.
Similar to a certain 80s anime:
Combo won’t even let Balrog land as he leaped in the air and struck him with his Upwards Knee. Gravity allowed TJ to land on his feet but he won’t allow his opponent to do the same as he was launched high in the air with a Winding Uppercut. All what the dumb muscle can do was scream.
TJ finally let him land, by which grabbing him by the legs in mid-air, and slamming his body like a sledgehammer. The impact left a cloud of dust but still he wasn’t finished. He grabbed him again and delivered a powerful hook the face, then a cross to the face, and finally a series of jabs to the face with the final punch breaking his nose. Balrog’s blood stained TJ’s fists so Ultratech’s wanted boxer then knees him continuously, causing Balrog to stumble back but only for TJ to roll towards him and uppercuts him in the chest again, crushing his ribcage into fragments. Combo continues off with several vicious hooks to Balrog, more blood and teeth flying in the process. At this point, his face resembles that of raw hamburger meat that not even his own mother would notice.
He finally finishes him off with a Winding Uppercut followed by the Tremor just before Balrog can land. Combo leaps to the air before delievering a final punch in the face, landing them both to the rooftop’s curb, shattering Balrog’s back as he hit the cement.
TJ saw Balrog barely alive, and grabbed him by the hair like he did to him previously. Balrog can only give out a pathetic yelp. Combo can only sneered at his unrecognizable face.
He then held his head by the temples tightly before jerking it out with a loud…
Balrog’s limp body fell out of the roof and disappearing into the smoggy streets below with an equally loud…
TJ Combo was exhausted and injured but before walking to the nearest emergency room, he punched several times in the air, and yelling out a victorious “YEAH!”
Wiz: Indeed, while Balrog’s combos were savage and brutal, when TJ entered Instinct Mode, it was all over.
Boomstick: Plus, TJ fought werewolves, skeleton pirates, aliens made of ice, and mutant made of magma just to name of few. Need I mentioned that he killed Riptor?
Wiz: While it’s true there are mystical opponents in the Street Fighter universe, TJ’s not afraid to fight dirty as well and also familiar with…well… combos. He’s not called “Combo” for nothing, it’s like “Boomstick” isn’t called “Boomstick” for nothing!
Boomstick: Yep, it was a close match, but Balrog was a rope-a-dope to take on TJ!
Balrog… + Younger and Bigger + Aggressive + Stronger + His Super and Ultra moves are devastating + Fights Dirty… - That can last so long - Slower - Limited Moveset
TJ Combo… + Faster + Versatile Moveset + Not Above Fighting Dirty + Two Instinct Mode gave him the edge + Knows Combos (No pun intended) and intercept counterattacks + Fought various monsters, aliens, and a genetically engineered velociraptor
Right about now, N.W.A is in full effect Judge Pickles presiding In the case of N.W.A vs. the Nick Executives Prosecuting attorneys are MC Avatar, Yellow Cube and Invader motherfucking Z
Pickles: Order, order, order Yellow Cube, take the motherfucking stand Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth And nothing but the truth so help your sponge ass? Yellow Cube: I’m READY!
Pickles: Well, won’t you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?
Yellow Cube: Fuck The Network, coming straight from Bikini Bottom! People think I’m their bitch, so that’s a problem And not the other show, the network thinks They have the dictation to cancel an animation Fuck that shit, where kids follow me like religion To have my face, on every television To be animated on, and thrown on air Even I get annoyed but they don’t care! Fucking with me cause I work with Mr. Krabs Well even he thinks they are greedy like crap! Having my face, on every kid’s product While every parent thinks I’m under some narcotic! You’d rather see me go jellyfishing Than me and Patrick seen each other kissing! Beat an executive out of shape And when I’m finished, bring the yellow tape! To tape off the scene of the slaughter Still living off burgers underwater People think that I’m a fag or not Don’t reach my Squarepants and grabbing my nuts And on the other hand, without an order the censors can’t get none They allow jokes about suicide but won’t let you mention a gun Cause they’ll kick you out from the street top Then replace you with a new show, even if it’s a complete flop! Spongebob will swarm On any motherfucker in a fancy uniform Just because I’m on a kid’s TV Punk executive are afraid of me A fry cook on the warpath And when I’m finished, it’s gonna be a bloodbath By the end of the day Yo Tommy, I got something to say! Chorus: Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network!
Executive: We’re pulling your show off the air! MC Avatar: Aww shit, why are we being canceled? Executive: Because we feel like it! Just sit your ass on the curb and shut the fuck up! MC Avatar: Man, fuck this shit! Executive: Alright you bitch, I’m taking your fake anime ass to jail!
MC Avatar: Fuck the network and the Avatar said it with authority Because a bi main character in a kid’s show’s a majority The Avatar State is something that I beckon And it’s the motherfucking weapon Is kept inside of me, for the so-called ratings Wishing they leave Asami whom I’m dating Putting me online instead? Like I give a care Bet they’re scared of a girl, so they’re out of my hair And that shit don’t work, I just laugh Because it gives them a hint not to step my path! To the network, I’m saying “Fuck you all!” Just to prove that they don’t have any balls Pullin’ the PC BS, so you stand With money in your pocket, and a ho in your hand I won’t even use any bending, so you can see what’s up And I’ll go at it punk, I’m gonna fuck you up! Make ya think I’ will be too late But when your back’s turned, and I’ll be in my Avatar State! I’m a role model when it comes to female heroes And the boy fans who hate me? All I see are zeroes Firebend any motherfucker that sweats me Or any asshole that threatens me I’m the Avatar so you better deal with it. I will take you all out, just like the Equalists! None of the villains on my show are that bad With potential to get bad as fuck So I’m a turn it around Get my bending yo, and they’re in luck (Throws a boulder following by blasting a ball of fire, then a stream of pressurized water, and ending it with a gust of gale-force winds) Yeah, that’s the end, but it all depends on what kind of element you will bend Takin out the executives would make my day With MC Avatar got something to say.
Chorus: Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! (A door is heard knocking) Invader Z: What do you fucking earthlings want? Executive: Zim! We’re from the network! Invader Z: Shit! Executive: We’re canceling your green ass! So get the fuck out! Invader Z: But why? Why the fuck for? Executive: Just shut the fuck up and get your motherfucking green ass moving! Invader Z: But I didn’t do shit! Executive: Man, just shut the fuck up! Judge Pickles: Invader Z, won’t you step up to the stand and tell the jury how you feel about this bullshit? Invader Z: I’m tired of the motherfucking jacking Sweating out with Gir while chilling with my Pak and Showing the pink slip to my face and for what? Maybe it’s because I kick so much human butt I kick ass or maybe cause I blast! On a stupid-ass earthling when I bring in the hurting Of a Voot Cruiser or a Maim Bot Cause the network always say something stupid they got They canceled my show with silence Cause my identity by itself causes violence! The Irken with the sociopathic behavior Yeah, I’m violent, but still I got flavor! Without a suit or money, or expensive hooch A sucker earthling ready to extract his squeedlyspooch! By me or another Invader! And with a laser, it don’t matter if he’s a fake or a hater! And as you all know, Z’s here to rule! Whenever I’m cruising, keep looking in the mirror And ears on cue yo, so I can hear a Dumb motherfucker with a sheet And if I’m riding on a Mecha-Doomer, his ass is gonna be beat That I take out and then get away While I’m flying off laughing, this is what I’ll say!
Chorus: Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network!
Pickles: The jury has found you guilty of being a retarded, stuck up, greedy, chickenshit motherfucker! Executive: But wait, that’s a lie! That’s a goddamn lie! Pickles: Get him out of here! Executive: I want justice! Pickles: Get him the fuck out of my face! Executive: I WANT JUSTICE! Pickles: OUT, RIGHT NOW! Executive: FUCK YOU, YOU ANIMATED MOTHERFUCKERS!
Chorus: Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network! Fuck the Network!
I just realized that it's been ages since I wrote a parody song, so I decided to make a sequel to my ancient work of Straight Outta Nickelodeon which was a parody of Straight Outta Compton by the N.W.A and considering the NWA biopic is coming soon, I just came up with this rap!
Background: Name: Mike Balrog From: Street Fighter Height: 6’6’’ Weight: 225 lbs
Background and Feats: Killed an elephant with his punch Former Champion Boxer Teamed up with Birdie to find the Psycho Drive (But failed) Broke a Billiards Table with one punch Can hold to go toe-to-toe against Ken, Chun-Li, and Gen just to name a few Top enforcer of Shadaloo Computer Scientist (Non-canon)
-Dashes forward to a straight punch -Can go across the screen depending which punch button is pressed.
-Dashes forward to his opponent with an uppercut -Can be used as an Anti-Air attack. -Can go across the screen like the Dash Straight
-Turns his back on his opponent (duh) -Winds up for at least two seconds and charges with a powerful punch -The longer he holds, the more powerful the punch.
-Performs the Turn Punch twice, -Followed by another turn punch capable of hitting the opponent multiple times -Was the same attack that killed Dhalsim’s elephant
-Delivers five savage punches -What kind of punches depends on which button is pressed -Last punch is always a Turn Punch
-Grabs his opponent and headbutts them, followed by stomping them in the foot, and finishing off with a hook to the face. -High stun damage makes up for its low damage. -Only time he uses his foot to attack
Weaknesses: No kick attacks Prefers head-on attacks Unintelligent Short Tempered Overconfident Relies too heavily on cheating
Boomstick: This fan fiction of Death Battle is written by-
(Hears a loud burst thorough the door)
Boomstick: The fuck?!
Young: Hey. Heard you're doing a Cole MacGrath match. Since I'm the guy that did the research for him, I'm the cohost of this match.
Wiz: You can't just barge in on our-
Young: You learn quickly things work differently here.
Boomstick: What? Fine, but we’re sticking in for Blanka!
Young: Alright, it’s a deal.
Wiz: Well Boomstick, wanna grab something to eat?
Boomstick: Do you even need to ask?
(Both Wiz and Boomstick are heard leaving the door)
Young: Now they’re gone, it’s a fight between two famous shockers of video game history. Cole MacGrath, the Patron Saint of New Marais
Master of The Boot: Vs Blanka, the Green Beast of the Amazon!
Young: I’m YoungSamurai and he’s Master of The Boot, and it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who will win…a Death Battle!
DEATH BATTLE! Cole MacGrath Alias: The Electric Man, The Demon of Empire City, The Prime Conduit, etc. Age: Early 20’s Height: 6’0 Weight: 170lbs Occupation: Pre-Blast, bike courier. Post-Blast, reluctant superhero
- Survived the collapse of the Junk Tower, the tallest structure in Empire City, almost completely unscathed
-Defeated Kessler, his much more powerful future self.
-Killed the Beast.
-Killed Bertrand, the Behemoth.
-Killed the Queen of the Vampires, Bloody Mary.
Master of the Boot: And since, the Good Karma Cole is canon. We will be using him against Blanka!
YoungSamurai: Besides, he defeated his evil counterpart in the last fight we did.
Master of the Boot: Speaking of the last fight, are we just going to repeat ourselves? I mean, we already did the bio.
YoungSamurai: Yeah, you’re right. We will show the readers a recording from it instead!
(He pulls out a remote and presses a button, and a video of Good Cole Vs. Evil Cole is shown)
YoungSamurai: Cole MacGrath was once a simple bike courier, until he got a job to deliver a package for one Kessler. While Cole was delivering the package, it detonated, causing widespread damage and destruction. But, somehow, Cole, who was at the center of the blast, survived.
Master of the Boot: Anyone not wearing forty five million SPF sunscreen was having a really bad day
YoungSamurai: Cole's body has undergone a severe power up, with him able to punch out a swamp monster with his bare hands.
Master of the Boot: Falcon Punch! Physicality:
- Enhanced Strengh: Strong enough to punch swamp monsters into next week, at any rate
- Enhanced Stamina
- Enhanced Durability
- Enhanced Agility & Reflexes
- Free Runner: Before the Blast, Cole was a parkour and urban exploration enthusiast. Post-Blast, he puts this to good use against his enemies
- Experienced Brawler
YoungSamurai: Cole's main weapon is The Amp, an invention by his buddy Zeke after Cole's first encounter with the Beast. This weapon enhanced Cole's abilities in close combat, able to now knock foes to the ground.
Master of the Boot: He's like the white electric Mike Tyson. Weapons:
The Amp: An oversized electric baton that can knock out foes.
Master of the Boot: And zap the hell out of them.
YoungSamurai: Cole's electric attacks are nothing to sneeze at. His attacks come in variety, from the simple bolts, to grenades to even rockets, Cole has more abilities than we can mention. Powers: Electrokinesis & Electromagnetism
Pincer Bolt- Three bolts fires simultaneously
Magnum Bolt- 3 times the damage, but is the slowest of the bolts
Artillery Bolt- Long range bolt
Bolt Stream- Least damaging, but highest rate of fire.
Precision Bolt- Slows time and allows for a more accurate shot.
Alpha Grenade- Basic grenade
Sticky Grenade- Sticks to target before exploding
Cluster Grenade- Splits into a bunch of grenades before exploding
Ice Grenade- Freezes target
Alpha Rocket: The standard type of rocket that Cole starts out with at the beginning of the game.
Redirect Rocket: After firing a rocket, Cole can redirect it mid-flight by hitting an enemy or object with a Bolt attack.
Sticky Rocket: A rocket that splits when approaching a target, breaking into homing charges that attach to nearby enemies.
Freeze Rocket: An enormously condensed ball of sub-zero gas that instantly freezes enemies on contact.
Master of the Boot: Like in Mortal Kombat!
Shao-Khan: Cole McGrath wins, Fatality
Alpha Blast: A strong kinetic shockwave that sends objects flying and knocks enemies off their feet.
Detonation Blast: A swirling ball of caged kinetic energy that sticks to whatever it hits, eventually exploding with terrible force. If Cole jumps when close to it he'll harness the energy for a super jump.
Graviton Blast: A blast that temporarily lowers the gravity of anything it sends flying. Enemies are helpless as they hang in the air.
Shatter Blast: Cole throws out a handful of spikes, then blasts them at his enemies.
YoungSamurai: Cole also comes equipped with more abilities than just his attacks. He can do a lot with these, though we won't go over every single one, as that would take all day.
Master of the Boot: Unless you're Alex Mercer, cross Cole and you're cruising for a bruising.
YoungSamurai: Dude, he already beat Alex. *shows Cole destroying Alex with an Ionic Storm* Misc.:
-Electric Drain: When injured or drained of battery cores, Cole can simply drain electricity from any available sources (cars, street lamps, generators, etc)
-Frost Shield: Uses an Ice barrier to stop attacks and replenish Cole's energy.
-Arc Restraint: Cole can create bonds of electricity, sticking enemies’ or civilians’ wrists and ankles to the ground
Master of the Boot: Also useful for shaking things up in the bedroom, if you know what I mean . . .
YoungSamurai: *shakes his head*
-Thunder Drop: Cole can drain energy around him while in the air, and send a powerful shockwave when he lands on the ground
-Induction Grind: Can slide along power lines and train tracks, and can even drain energy from them while doing so
-Static Thrusters: Cole can, through the aid of static electricity, glide through the air for a limited period of time. He can also temporarily increase his movement speed by using it right after using Induction Grind at full speed. It can also be used as a double jump
-Bio-Leech: Can drain energy from enemies
-Pulse Heel: Heals civilians of any non-fatal injury
-Radar Pulse: Emits a weak electric pulse that lets him sense nearby sources of electricity and Blast Shards, as well as distinguished friend from foe
-Kinetic Pulse: Levitates heavy objects he can throw at will
-Lightning Tether/Lightning Hook: Cole can create an electric tether that can pull himself to other objects. The weaker variant, the Hook, has Cole pulling a Scorpion and pulling his enemies to him.
YoungSamurai: Cole's abilities don't just stop with regular electricity. He can also use Ionic abilities, starting with the Ionic Vortex, which is basically an energy tornado that sweeps all in it's path.
Master of the Boot: Let's see how you hold up to the power of Zeus, mothafucka!
YoungSamurai: But then there's Cole's deadliest attack, the Ionic Storm, a lightning bolt that can even damage the powerful and humongous Beast. Oh, man. What I wouldn't give for this one.
Master of the Boot: Okay we've left Zeus territory, now let's just have Cole beat on Odin and take over Asgard. Ionic Powers:
-Ionic Storm: Summons powerful lightning strikes from the sky
-Ionic Vortex: Cole focuses an Ionic charge in his hands and throws an electrically charged tornado
-Ionic Freeze: Launches a wave of ice at his enemies
YoungSamurai: He does have weaknesses. For starters, he can't step in water that's too deep, or stay in too long, as he could die.
Master of the Boot: So he has the same weakness as the wicked witch of the west.
YoungSamurai: He also can't hold a gun as it could explode in his hand, due to the gunpowder. And he can only use his Ionic powers a certain number of times.
Master of the Boot: No guns? What is this, the United Nations? I vote the next infamous game has Cole using Rambo sized guns and fighting the armies of the former Soviet Union.
YoungSamurai: He's not in the next one.
Master of the Boot: . . . oh my. Weaknesses:
-Limited power source
-Can't stay in water.
-Can't sit in a car or hold a gun, as these could explode.
-Ionic abilities have a limit.
YoungSamurai: But he still kicks ass and retains his title as "The Prime Conduit".
(Cole: To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.)
Master of the Boot: Ahh, we were so young back then!
YoungSamurai: That was only last year!
Master of the Boot: And your point is?
(The door is heard opening)
Wiz: Alright, it looks like you’re finished. Now can we please continue without any interruption?
YoungSamurai: C’mon, at least we’re not like Deadpool.
Boomstick: Or my ex, so stick back, and hear how the real professionals do things!
Master of the Booth: Did you brought me anything?
Wiz and Boomstick: NO! Background: Real Name: James “Jimmy” From: Street Fighter 2 Birthdate: February 12, 1966 Height: 1.92 m/ 6 FT 3.5 IN Weight: 98 KG/217 LBS Hobbies: Hunting, electrical work
Wiz: As we mentioned in his battle against Pikachu, Blanka the only survivor in the plane crash in the Brazilian Amazon, and young Jimmy grew up in the harsh rainforest by adapting with the local flora and fauna.
Boomstick: Like Tarzan, except in South America and with electric eels instead of apes!
Wiz: Years of living and camouflaging in the rainforest made his skin turning permanently green from chlorophyll.
Boomstick: Plus, he got the power to conduct electricity from eating electric eels, which works for him but a complete disaster for me!
Wiz: I did warned you about that, and looked how it turned out!
Boomstick: The toilet will never forgive me for that part!
Master of the Boot: I share the same sentiments with me and Chipotle!
YoungSamurai: Trust me about that.
Wiz: When he first entered the World Warrior tournament, Blanka’s one of the most agile fighters in the roster. Years of fighting dangerous predators gave him moves like the Beast Roll, where he hurdles himself like a cannonball and giving poor Sir Issac Newton the middle finger. Okay, maybe not the latter.
Boomstick: He also has two other rolls where he dive-bombs his opponents like an owl to mouse or goes up in the air in the rocket!
Wiz: He is also able to fry anyone close to him like a Taser or can slither across the floor like a snake.
Master of the Boot: All that from fighting jaguars and crocodiles? Damn, the Amazon got bigger balls than I thought!
Beast Roll AKA Rolling Attack
-Curls himself into a ball and then rockets across the screen like a cannonball
- Speed and range depends on the punch button
- Easy to counter if Blanka’s not careful
-Gained from a diet of electric eels
-Crouches down an conducts several thousand volts through his body
-Zaps anyone unfortunate enough to go near him.
-Often use as a defense or an anti-air
-Doesn’t shield against projectiles
-An Anti-Air attack
-Can be used against standing opponents
-Somersaults in a diagonally up-forward trajectory
-The height and distance depends on the kick button, basically the stronger the kick, the farther he goes
-Blanka backflips backwards and then rapidly somersaults in a high arc forward.
-An aerial attack
-Good for dodging projectiles
-Can sent an opponent flying once hit
Amazon River Run:
-Crouches low and performs a stretching slide, lunging at the opponent’s ankles
-Able to dodge most projectiles
YoungSamurai: When Blanka needs more juice, he can perform the Grand Shave Roll a spin attack like a certain blue speedy hedgehog.
Boomstick: When he gets really pissed, he can use Shout of Earth to hit the ground with electricity, lighting them up like a Christmas tree light.
Wiz: His most powerful move is the Lightning Cannonball, where he combines two attacks into a devastating ball of destruction. Super Moves:
Grand Shave Roll:
-Chargeable Spin Attack
-Can hit an opponent multiple times
-Similar to Sonic the Hedgehog’s Spin Dash attack
Shout of Earth:
- Blanka beats his chest while roaring, then performs a backflip and hits a ground in a surge of electivity.
-Can electrify the ground or shoot a bolt straight up
-Used as an anti-air or a ground attack
-Blanka crouches, electrifies himself, and somersaults forward
-Electric Spin Attack
-Rolls forward like a bowling ball
-Requires perfect timing
YoungSamurai: In his journey, Blanka found his long lost mother and became a hero of Brazil.
Boomstick: He’s also immune to many viruses which means if he’s lucky enough to get laid, he won’t ever worry about getting an STD. If someone is blind of course…
Wiz: Not only was he able to survive years alone in the Amazon, but he is also befriended Dan Hibiki, which that alone is an accomplishment.
Master of the Boot: Need we mention that he ate Pikachu?!
Background and feats:
Befriended Dan and Sakura
Survived the Amazon jungle for years
Attended the second World Warrior Tournament
Fought crocodiles and jaguars
Reunited with his mother
Immune to most viruses
National hero of Brazil
Represented Brazil in the second World Warrior Tournament
Boomstick: While Blanka is one tough badass, need we have to mention twice that he only got training from Dan? Who’s basically the Dane Cook of Street Fighter characters?!
Master of the Boot: Hey, I like Dane Cook! (Is elbowed by YoungSamurai) OW! What was that for?!
YoungSamurai: For being stupider than usual!
Wiz: Plus, growing up in the humid jungle of the Amazon, he doesn’t do well in the freezing cold.
Master of the Boot: Finally, he’ll only attack if he’s pissed off, like a Wookie.
Wiz: Still, Blanka came far from the top, not only is he became a national hero of Brazil but is represented by the country several times!
Susceptible to cold
Is only aggressive when provoked
Never won a tournament
Only got training from Dan Hibiki
Boomstick: Finally Brazil has something to known for besides waxing, Carnival, steakhouses, drug cartels, and soccer. Blanka, the green electric Ape man of the Amazon!
(Blanka backflips and letting out a ferocious roar)
Wiz: Alright, the fighters are all set, who do you the reader think will win? Please post a comment below and fave!
Boomstick: But please give your two cents instead of simply faving! There, I said the magic word, and you better leave a comment or else! (Cocks shotgun)
THanks to for lending me his bio! thanks to, serving as a guest hosts along with YoungSamurai
Third Death Battle fiction written by yours truly between two electrifying characters : Cole MacGrath of Infamous Vs Blanka from Street Fighter! PS: I'm aware that I'm using Evil Cole or Cole from InFamous 1 instead, I thought the screenshots were better than the ones I found.
and belong to themselves Death Battle (c) belongs to ScrewAttack! Street Fighter (c) belongs to Capcom Infamous (c) belongs to Sucker Punch
Well, after more than a decade has passed when I first created my DeviantArt profile. Friends come and go, and interests come and go. A lot of stuff happened to me over the years and it's best I give my best what the hell happened to me aside a single submission in a month.
Hell, I remember joining it only for the fanart but I eventually started posting fanfiction and poetry later on of my early days, and I was young and naive and for those who are curious, go and check my old entries from the days past. Ever since I started college, I became busy with my courses so, I never got the time to update my journals and it only worsened when I got accepted to Texas State San Marcos.
Sadly, many people I once watched stopped going to DeviantArt (Proof since they never updated their profile in YEARS) or their interests changed over time. Here I am, still clinging to the past, but now focus on the present, with concerns for the future awaiting for me.
Anyway, here's the scoop on what's going on over the years.
I was an Education Major or Interdisciplinary Studies as a fancy way of saying it, so my plan was to be an elementary school teacher as a way to pay homage for my teachers who never gave up on me. Sentimental as it sounds, reality hits me harder than a sledgehammer. Which is one of the many reasons why I rarely update.
In hindsight, I should've told the professors, the dean, and the rest of the higher-ups that I have Asperger's Syndrome. But I was too ashamed to let people know in fear of the stigma in both online and offline. On my final year of my major, I thought I can make it as a teacher when I started as an intern on the field. Apparently, the teacher I assigned with and my supervisor from Texas State had a beef with me since I was assigned with first grade students. One student had dyslexia, but either the assigned teacher didn't tell me or I simply forgot. So the teacher thought I was yelling at him but I wasn't, I was simply stating the fact on why he had trouble with the work. When he did completed his task, I said to him "That it's not perfect, but it will do"
I didn't mean to upset the kid when I said that, I meant to say that not everyone's perfect in their first try but constantly working will bring progress. So, I was reassigned with fifth graders. At that age, students tend to be snarky, so I thought if I joked around and be funny, I thought students would respect me and form a better student/mentor relationship. But the supervisor basically said "No, you're not allowed to do that, and you're out of here"
So my parents got pissed at me and we ended up meeting with the dean of education, that's where I told them that I have Asperger's and they told me I can still graduate if I dropped out thanks to my credit score. THey understand that I meant well and not through malice. So, I was lucky enough to graduate and as a blessing in disguise.
Speaking of which, I graduated back in December, so I felt accomplished as a happiest moments of my life...
That is until the loans arrived and with no prior work experience with this day and age, I have trouble finding a job. As of now,I'm going back to Community College to work on my Associate's in cooking. Plus, I'm going for a job search through state help with my disability as for a lack of a better term, a "tool" to help me find a job.
I'm 27 as of this writing, so I'm hoping to do something productive later on with my life instead of sitting on my ass on the computer.
TL;DR: If you have a disability be sure to let the counselors, professors, and the rest know that you have them.
Until then, this is probably the longest entry I ever written in my journal.
Current Residence: Texas but we ain't cowboys...ya'll deviantWEAR sizing preference: XXL Favourite genre of music: Ska, old school rap, punk rock, and good ol' southern music Favourite photographer: Peter Parker (Aka Spider Man) Favourite style of art: All sorts Operating System: Windows XP Skin of choice: I ain't racist Favourite cartoon character: Too many to list... Personal Quote: Yogi: "Hey Boo-boo, let's get these N00bs and steal their pic-a-nic baskets!"
Favorite visual artistYou guys!Favorite moviesDark Knight, Watchmen, and add any blockbuster hit hereFavorite bands / musical artistsNirvana, Lynard Skynard, Reel Big Fish, and Ska-PFavorite writersYou guys!Favorite gamesMost RTS, FPS, GTA, Guitar Hero, and anything that has bloodFavorite gaming platformPS2 and PCTools of the TradeMy crazy imagination, keyboard, and snacksOther InterestsToo many to list...fame and fortune's one of them...