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Squidward’s Suicide: The Novelization

Bikini Bottom’s very own cynical cephalopod Squidward Tentacles was practicing his clarinet in his room, hitting sour notes like he usually does. Outside, he can hear his two neighbors Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star were out laughing and playing outside. Squidward tried to ignore their commotion, but every time he plays for a few seconds, their laughter got louder than before.

Frustrated, he walked up to the window and yelled:

“Would you two dunderheads keep quiet!? My concert starts tonight and I can’t practice my big night with you cackling around!”

“Sorry, Squidward,” Spongebob apologized, both the sea sponge and the starfish who were both in front of Squidward’s front yard before settling down. “We were just playing a game.”

“What game?”

“The game which I’ve lost!” Patrick guffawed, with Spongebob joining in seconds later.

Confused on what the two morons were babbling about, the octopus shrugged.

“Look, I don’t have time for this,” He said, rubbing his enormous head with his tentacles, “Go play somewhere else, preferably in the traffic!”

“Let’s go see Sandy then,” Patrick suggested, “Maybe she wants to play too!”

“Hope she won’t lose the game.” Spongebob cackled before trailing off.

“Darn it, I lost again!” Patrick grunted while following after his porous friend.

As the two disappeared in Squidward’s eyes, he sighed in relief, he was about to play his clarinet when he heard a knock.

“OOH! Did those two morons got lost to Sandy’s again?!” He growled as he ran down the stairs, I swear to Neptune, those two, and the rest of Bikini Bottom would be the death of me someday!”

But by the time he opened the door, it wasn’t either Spongebob or Patrick but a different person. He was a salesman fish with red fins and hair who stood about a foot taller than him. Still, Squidward already short temper is losing thin, and have enough interruptions to deal with for his big night.

“This better be important,” He demanded,

“Greetings lad,” The salesman smiled in a Scottish accent, tipping his fedora to him.  “If you would give me a moment of your time, I”

“I don’t want anything,” Squidward interrupted before slamming the door on the salesman’s face.

He barely walked several steps before his door was knocked on again, this time it was more rapid and loud. Livid, Squidward opened the door again.


The Salesman then grabbed Squidward by his olive brown shirt and pulled him in. He realized that the Salesman was more muscular than he expected and instantly regretted on he did earlier.

“Would you let me explain you insufferable, pompous buffoon!” The Salesman snapped before releasing his shirt. “I’m not here to sell you anything, I’m here to warn you!”

“Warn me?” The cephalopod said in a confused tone, while fixing his collar. “About what?”

“The Red Mist is coming for you, cancel the concert while you still had the chance!” The Salesman whispered.

“Red Mist?” Squidward raised an eyebrow, “Is that some kind of a starting garage band? Or some kind of a prank?”

“Tis no prank, I swear, I wish I have more time to explain but cancel the concert while you still can!” And then ran off to the sunset.

To be continued...
Squidward's Suicide: The Novelization
You know the notorious creepypasta based on Nickelodeon's Spongebob Squarepants?

Well, here's my interpretation of the creepypasta story if it was an episode.
The Scarecrow (Batman the Animated Series): *to Raven from Teen Titans* So you say you fear nothing, allow me to fix that for you for I am the master of fear!
Raven: *Four red eyes exposed under cloak* What you do is mere parlor tricks, I'll put in to you true fear to make your blood run cold!

Sokka: *to a female TLA character* You know, I liked you a lot better when you weren't trying to kill me!
Azula: (sarcastically) Aw, poor baby.

Pickles the drummer: [to an alcoholic character] (slurred) Hey, you wanna drink with me? *guitar riff* you, ****weed! (unintelligible moaning)
Barney Gumble: Sure! I know of a good bar with good beer in it! *belches*

Shao Kahn (MK: Defenders of the Realm): *to any character from any horrible cartoon* it's official, you suck!
Dex Dogtective: (Food Fight) Speak for yourself, you cold-farted itch!

Robotnik: (AOSTH) SnooPING AS usual I see!
Iago (Aladdin): Who you callin a snooper? Take this fat man! *Raaag*

Sailor Moon: How dare you want to attack me? The champion of Justice. I am Sailor Moon! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you! ... and that means you!
Freeza: Oh my! a little girl thinks she can beat me, I won't even have to waste a transformation to kill you!

The Great and Powerful Trixie: *to any magic user* Come on, show Trixie what you got!
Raven: (Original Teen Titans) Fine talking unicorn. Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

Lola Bunny (Looney Toons Show): (To her Space Jam Counterpart) At least I was given a character and not used as a blatant fan service DOLL!
Lola Bunny (Space Jam): Hold on, I suddenly become a brainless airhead??

Krang (TMNT 80s): *To the Kraang* And just who do you think you are trying to impersonate me??
Kraang: Kraang is Kraang, new Kraang species known as "Krang" discovered. Kraang observes that "Krang" is operating a vessel that resembles a Earth grown vegetable known as the "potato."
Alternate Kraang: New orders from Kraang Prime: Incapacitation and capture of "Krang" for vivisection.

Grounder (AoStH): (To a cartoon that uses curse words) A-Are you allowed to say that? We were lucky to get by with "Pingas!"
Colonel Stinkmeaner: What did you just say n****?! You better have insurance, ass whoopin insurance cause I'm about to whup on your ass n****!

Helga Pataki: *to any football headed character* Move it football head!
Stewie Griffin: Listen here, you golden-haired tramp, I'll go back in time and erase your entire blood line!

The Imposter (Dan Vs) (To an average guy character): Hey, I've stolen some jerk's identity before, but yours seems a lot better! How's about handing it over peacefully, hmm?
Oscar Proud (The Proud Family): What!? Oh no that is not going to happen!

Berry Scary (Foster's Home for imaginary Friends): *to any female imaginary friend* Bloo is mine! Stay away from him!!!

Popeye: (To any female villain) I don't likes to hurt a dame, but you ain't no dame!
Queen of Hearts: (Alice in Wonderland) My mantle will look so much better with your head decorating it!

Hoss Delgado: (Billy and Mandy) You have overstayed your welcome, freak! Time for you to check out!
Ghostfreak (Ben 10): Yes, I am a Freak, a Ghostfreak, and I'm going to make sure you get a nice Zs'Skayr before you die!

Alameda Slim (To a western character): You think that you're the best, out here in this here west, well let my yodelin' skills put you to the test!
Applejack: Let's see yer yodlin' skills can handle my lassoin' skills, ya talking ape!

Pinky (Pinky and The Brain): (To Mr. Mackey) Poit! Why do you keep saying "M'kay" at every end of the sentence? NARF!
Mr. Mackey: You don't wanna mess with me. Messin' with me is bad, m'kay? 'Cuz if you mess with me, I'll tear you to pieces, and that's bad, m'kay? When I'm done with you, you'll be eating out of a feeding tube, and lemme tell you something about eating out of a tube: it's bad, m'kay? So you shouldn't mess with me...m'kay?

Itachi Uchiha: [to another character with a younger brother] You're too soft. Your brother's weaker than mine.
Matt Ishida: *glares* Hey! Nobody talks about TK while I'm around.

Piedmon: *to any clown like character* I like your style, reminds me of me!
Joker (Batman): I like your style too, you really are great with kids! What's say you and I have a nice
little dance to the death, eh? I'm thinking some Macarena with a side of Russian Roullete is just the way to go, bwahahahaha!

Fuzzy Lumpkins (Powerpuff Girls): I betcha you were tha one on mah property! Well git ready fer a taste of mah boomstick!
Guile (Street Fighter the SEries): First off, I wasn't in your property and second, GUNS ARE FOR WIMPS!

Link (Legend of Zelda): (To any Princess) Well, EXUUUUSSSEE me Princess!
Princess Bubblegum: huh? what's going on here? Guards!

Morton Koopa Jr. (TAOSMB3): Prepare to be beaten down, humbled, beaten to a pulp, get crushed, get smashed, and get trashed by yours truly..*keeps going on and on*
Malware (Ben 10: Omniverse): You won't do anything to me, talking turtle. But I can do much worse to you. *Lifts up cannon arm*

Gramma Stuffum (To an underweight character): Oh, you are nothing but skin and bones! Gramma Stuffum will fill you up with the good stuff! *Pulls out ladle*
Shaggy (Scooby Doo): Like if it's pepperoni pizza with ice cream and chocolate sauce then like count me in!

Lucky (101 Dalmatians the series): *To Lucky from Pound Puppies* Hey, we got the same name! You as lucky as me?
Lucky: (Pound Puppies) Nothing personal kid, but I don't really believe in luck.

Sonic (AOSTH): (To his SATAM counterpart) The loser buys the chili dogs!
Sonic (SatAM): You're on!

Heathcliff: *to Riff Raff* Hey, you're the only Cadillac Cat I haven't had a run in with yet.
Riff-Raff: If that's the case, then how come none of the boys mentioned you?

Emperor Palpatine: (To any hero curbstomping him) Strike me down, with all your hatred!
Wolverine (X-men): Just what I was waiting to hear bub!

Eustace Bagge (Courage the cowardly Dog): *to any dog character* stupid dog!
Scooby-Doo: Dog? Where? (Or with Scoobyspeak: Rawg? Rare?)

Bluto: (Popeye) Huh-huh-huh! Another shrimp who thinks he can stand up to me!
Plankton: I'm not a shrimp, you buffoon! Now hand over the spinach formula that Popeye uses, or I'll blast you with a laser!

Hortense (Dan Vs) (To any male character): *Snort* Will your order of one smackdown come with fries, sir?
Wimpy: (Popeye) I'll gladly pay you on Tuesday for your smackdown today!

Grim: (Billy and Mandy) (To any show that doesn't make references to "kill" "dead" or "die") As the Grim Reaper, why are you afraid of saying "Die?" Why not saying "finished end" instead of saying "dead end?"
Deadpool (Ultimate Spider-Man): You know it's funny my aversion to say those word considering my name and all, but the word "unalive" feels... liberating! Grimy Ol' chum you can't even imagine what I had to do with Death for my immortality!

Batman Beyond (Bruce Wayne): Urgh! *a dark smile crept upon his face as he clutches his chest* I wonder what will give first, my heart? ...or your face!
Ricardio (Adventure Time): Ah, well unfortunately for you, this heart won't give out so easily! I'm still pumping strong, and this face woos women at an extraordinary pace!

Spider Man (Ultimate Spider Man)(To an evil cartoon character): If you won't be good, I guess I'll have to kick you out of my neighborhood! *Freeze frames* Now that I think about it, kicking them out of the neighborhood will be a little hard. Maybe I'll just kick them off the block?
The Blob (Pryde of the X-Men) : Try your best bug-man! For NOTHING CAN MOVE THE BLOB!

Punsy McKale (The Misadventures of Flapjack) (To any character that uses puns): I find it "punny" that you can beat me at a battle of puns! Hope your funeral won't get anyone "coffin!" sick with grief!
Sybella (Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School): Beating you will be simply fang-tastic, with you all bruised and bat-tered. Another one bites the dust.

Izzy (Digimon): [to another character who's skilled with computers] You're a computer whiz, too? Prodigious! Scooter (Muppet Babies): Wow, this is awesome to meet another computer whiz too!

Tanis (Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School): *to any Monster High character* You a new student at Ms.Grimwood's?
GHoulia: *Moans* (Translated: I'm afraid not a new student in your private school, but I am here to kick your undead posterior!)

Jay Sherman (The Critic): Your fighting is like a Michael Bay movie...IT STINKS
Michael Bay (South Park): Your final days as a critic are going to bomb harder than that igloo on Mars featured in my new movie!

Wyldstyle (The LEGO Movie): Everything is awesoooomme, when your blood is flowing down the street!
Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist): What will be awesome is when you see a TRUE Master Builder!

Mirage (Aladdin The Series): (To any hero) Scratch a hero deep enough and you'll find the coward inside.
Mirage (Transformers): Not this hero! I've already been thought of as a traitor before, I won't be suspected of cowardice again! Now let's see just how brave you are when I disappear before your very eyes... like a Mirage!

Zaheer (Legend of Korra) (To Any Leader Character): Your reign will come to an end and people will finally control their own destiny... for better or worse!
Darkseid: No, I'll erase you from this plane of existence and nothing, not a single thing will be affected by your removal. Goodbye.

Nick Diamond (Celebrity Deathmatch): I'm a little stumped, are you supposed to be famous? Because you look like an extra in a circus.
Master Shake (Aqua Teen): Don't test me, Gumby. Hey, newsflash, pal: claymation went out of style years ago.

Steve Smith (American Dad): [to Stan Marsh] Wow, and I thought my big sister was a *****. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, pal.
Stan Marsh: Yeah dude, let me show you some moves Shelly taught me!

Lisa Simpson: Could we settle this with words and not sink to the depths of the dim-witted?
South Park George R. R. Martin: Sure little girl! Would you like to see my *insert word for those long dogs*

Heather (TDI) to a bald female: "Ugh, I know that feeling, right? I'm not going through that again!"
Eustace's Mom (Courage the Cowardly Dog): It's thanks to that no good son o' mine! Too bad we have to fight, or I'd be wiggin' out his behind right now instead!

Amuro (Gundam) (To another giant robot): Are you with Zeon?! The power of the Gundam will put you in your place!
Evil Coop (Red and Black Zaku): *Preps the Nuclear Rocket Fist* Ha! Your bravado falls short along with your puny robot, first I rid of you, then your world!

Abigail Lincoln: (To a strong or threatening character) Numbuh Five thinks it is time to use the H.E.A.D. - S.P.I.K.E prototype!

Female Voice over: Kids Next Door - "Head-Spike"
Juggernaut (X-men): bwahahahah! Just try it! Nothing can stop the Juggernaut!

Beelzemon (Digimon Tamers): Gonna challenge me huh? Yer gonna live ta regret it! *withdraws his guns*
Cobra Commander: You dare draw your guns on me?! Destro, prepare the Weather Dominator and aim it at this oversized devil-wannabe!

Skips (Regular Show) (To Someone Older Than Him): I don't get many chances to say this... but you're going down, gramps!
Bender Rodriguez: Bite my shiny metal ass, you hairy meatbag.

Yamcha (In a doctors uniform): A hard dosage of my Wolf Fang Fist should ease your pain!
Vegeta: Oh it's not my pain you should worry about, it's yours that you should be worried about!

Serpentor: You will soon bow to me, this I command!!!
Galvatron: You're trying to command the mighty Galvatron, scaly flesh creature? Unicron and the Quintessons already tried: it can't be done! Now face oblivion!

The Gangsta Specter of Defeat Poop Dawg: You'll never get the mystery prize! But you can go baggin' with the monies... body baggin' with the monies that is!
Bloo: (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) Get this Dog, after I loot your prize, I am going to have you stuffed as a warning to Herriman!

Scar (Lion King): (To Hercules) You die now, human! I am not going to become an accessory to a cretin such as you!
Hercules: Hey, I didn't know you can talk! But good luck trying to kill me, even Hades can't do it, what makes you can?

Tenzin: (To Amon) Even if you take away all of our bending, we will never bow to your so-called "Equality!”
Amon: In moments you wouldn't have to worry about bowing down, bender, for you'll be an equal member of the food chain.

Mandark: (with a sneer) These biomechanical enhancements synced with my body puts me on par with the strongest of men!
The Infragable Krunk: Huh? Why small science guy think he stronger than Krunk?? Krunk smash!!!

Perfect Cell: You dare to challenge perfection?
Bender (Futurama): I was just about to say the same thing! (puffs cigar)

Lin Chung (Hero 108): Before we fight, I must draw you.
Cole (Ninjago): Alright, but make sure you get my good side!

Sensei Garmadon (Ninjago): I may not fight or use weapons, but you will be defeated!
Uncle Iroh (Avatar The Last Airbender): If you defeating me over some tea and a game of Pai Sho, then you are on!

Batman (The Lego Movie): (To Lego Superman) (Trying not to laugh) The Man of Steel himself got caught, by a piece of gum? Was that gum made of Kryptonite?
Lego Superman: At least I didn't get dumped for some random schmuck.

Jiggle Billy (ATHF): [to any Toy Story character] Well, tarnation! Who's up for some jigglin'?
Lotso' Huggin' Bear (Toy Story 3): My, My, we will see how much jiggin' you do once you lose and get left in the caterpillar room! It's an experience to die for!

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls): I wonder how fast I can break into the depths your mind! My all-time record is 15 seconds, you seem dense enough!
Ed (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy): Dense?! Sarah's always calling me that, Mr. Pyramid! I'll return you to Egypt where you belong so that the undead Pharaoh of King Tuckyershirtin's Tomb doesn't come and feast upon my bones!

Sugilite (Steven Universe)(To a character smaller than her): Jealous of my size, baby? Well better get used to it, because I'm about to smash you to half height!
Ernie Potts: Yeah, you keep makin' fun o' my size, you're gonna need more than a mask to cover that ugly mug o' yours.

Riley (The Boondocks): Yea-ah Riley Escobar comin' to help you take a dirtnap! Nahm-sayin?
Butters (South Park): I think you're the one's going to be taking a dirt nap, you know what I am saying?

Ember McClain (Danny Phantom): (To any guitar player) Alright dipstick, let's decide who's the better guitarist once and for all!
Lord Raptor (Darkstalkers): I'll have ya know mate, I've been doing this since I was still alive! Now let's do this baby!

Venger (Dungeons and Dragons): You will not escape the wrath of Venger!
Samurai Jack: Oh, we shall see demon...

***** Puddin' (Robot Chicken): BLAM! Ya'll gonna get a taste of da ***** Puddin!
Kim Possible: You kiss your mom with that mouth?

Gir (Invader Zim): Let's go sing the "Doom Song" now!
Dr. Doom: Yes! Your final moments would be an ode to me until the Very. Last. Breath.

Wandisimo (Fairly Odd Parents): *Holds up his wand* Behold! The bronzing method I used to achieve this tone of olive coloured sexiness!
Larry the Lobster (Spongebob): I don't need your tanning oil, my shell is already baked! *Flexes*

Mumbo (Teen Titans) (To a teenage character): You Teens never appreciate my amazing tricks, so for my final performance, have a beat down, on the house!
Future Trunks: It'll be your final performance alright, *Vegeta smirks* because you will die today!

Captain Falcon (F-Zero: Falcon Densetsu): RAAAAH! Falcon KICK!
Angemon (Digimon): Let's see your Falcon Kick go against my Hand Of Fate

Lin Bei Fong (Legend of Korra): (To any gun user) Your weapons are almost like my metalbending, but imitation isn't always the sincerest form of flattery!
Megatron (G1): Foolish flesh creature, I don't use guns, I am a gun! Now prepare to face your doom! *Transforms into gun mode*

Elmyra Duff (To any cute character): Oh you're adorable! I'm going to take you home and kiss you, and squeeze you, and hug you, then destroy you!
Tender Heart Bear (Care Bears): Don't you think that's a little too much caring?

Captain N: *to any non Nintendo related cartoon video game character* Whoa, I've never seen you before, what game are you from?
Rumble McSkirmish (Fight Fighters): Game?! This is no game! As soon as you are crushed, it'll put me another step closer to regaining my honor!

Garnet (Steven Universe): ........................................ *charging pose*
Butch (PPGs): Heh, silent are ya? well I'll make you scream without my bros Brick and Boomer helping me out!

Mother Brain (Captain N): *to any other villainous brain* Well, well, well. Trying to mock me? I'll show you who's the biggest and baddest brain here!
Brain (Teen Titans Go!): You are nothing but a mere, powerless mockery, with my new powers you will be slime.
Evil Con Carne: How DARE you insult me! Boskov! Show our friend a true bear hug!

Terry McGinnis (Batsuit, no mask Batcave stage): I've seen your moves, you seen my face, you aren't leaving!
Bruce Wayne (B:TAS) *with his batsuit on with the cowl off* : Who are you? How did you get inside my cave??

Shadow Master (Double Dragon): I shall see you burn in the Dark Flame!
Ra's Al Ghul (Young Justice): Your Dark Flame will be soon extinguish by The Light
The Ice King (Adventure Time): SHeesh, you remind me of that "hitman" guy I've hired a while back, why don't you "chill" instead?

DCFDTL (KND) *To any child hero*: Why can't you just be like us and behave like children suppose to do?
Steven (Steven Universe): Sorry, but I don't feel like being dull like you guys.

Bebi (Dragon Ball GT): My what an interesting body, I think I'll take it!
The Lich (Adventure Time): I will take your body instead, like I did with Billy!

Caleb (King Of The Hill): Dusty old bones, full of green dust! Dusty old bones, full of green dust! Dusty old bones, full of green dust!
Uncle (Jackie Chan Adventures): You want a piece of uncle?

Mewtwo (Pokémon the first movie): You humans are a dangerous species!
Dib (Invader Zim): You're not the first to try and take us down, weird... ball... alien thingy!

Pinky Penguin (Bojack Horseman): T-They told me if I take you down they'd give me back by children...
Herbert (Family Guy): Did you say "children"? Mm-mm-mm-mmmm...

Carl B. (ATHF): [to a character who likes a genre of music other than rock] Boston, Slayer, and The Scorpions, pal! That's real music right there! You don't like it, lick on these. [indicates groin]
Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-head): Uhhh, no. Those bands suck! huh huh huh huh huh.

Dr.Blight (Captain Planet): Well what do we have here? Mal baby we got a new test subject.
Pinkie Pie (MLP: FIM): (Rapidly) No way you meanie pants! My friend Twilight tested on me once and it won't work on you! By the way, who's Mal?

Babs Bunny (TTA): (To either the Space Jam Lola or the Looney Tunes Show Lola) Beat it sister, I was here first!
Lola Bunny (TLS): Aww, aren't you so sweet? *deepens voice* I wonder if Taz would find you scrumptious!

Soos (Zombie Skin): *To a fleshy person* Yeah dude, so I'm like... one of these dudes again? I am really hungry for your flesh and brains and stuff...
Homer Simpson: (Pulls out a shotgun and pumps)

Ferb (Phineas & Ferb): (To any character that doesn't talk) And people say I was the quiet one...

Brainy (Hey Arnold!): *Breathes heavily*....Die.
Kree (KND): *To a kid/pre-teen* It's bad enough I have to deal with Crabagail and her dweeby friends, it's about time I shut you pests up permanently!
Eddy: (EE&E) You're going down sister, I've dealt with my brother before and I'll do the same thing to you!

The Lich (Adventure Time): (To any Equalist in Legend of Korra) You want equality? Then, I will make everyone death...
Amon: An ugly beast like you isn't worthy to die by my hand, crawl back to whatever hole put you out!

Grim (Billy and Mandy): You 'ear the bell tolling, mon? It's ringing your name!
Light Yagami: [holds up Death Note and smiles] You were saying?

Peter Griffin: [to a chicken other than the FG one] This'll be a piece of cake. I have experience fighting chickens, you know.
Chicken (Cow and Chicken) You haven't fought a chicken like me, your teeth will be apart of my necklace soon!

Zoidberg (Futurama): I have learned how to engage in combat from the robit, I'll just place my pincers behind my back..
Ahsoka (Star Wars Clone Wars): Well I learned combat from my Jedi Master, and he's one of the best. No way am I gonna lose.

Might Guy: I'll achieve victory at risk of my body and soul!!!
Toph: Let's see your body and soul get beaten up by a little girl like me!

Phil Ken Sebben (Harvey Birdman): Ha ha! Battle to the death!
Hades (Hercules): It's your lucky day, I deal in death! Come get your fill!

Beast Boy (Teen Titans): (To his Teen Titans Go! counterpart) Dude! I can't believe the other me is a jerk!
Beast Boy: Dude, I can't believe you're still breathing!

Beta Ray Bill (To a villain): Mjolnir hums, it calls for your blood, whelp!
Count Dooku (Star Wars: Clone Wars): The dark side is far more powerful than your "Mjolnir".

Nathan Explosion (Metalocalypse): [to another member of a fictional band]: You actually love your fans? That's not metal.
Ami (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi): Of course, we're not metal, we're pop! And you gotta be grateful they actually buy your records!
Yumi: (Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi) Besides, we're nowhere as bad that Bieber kid!

Brian Griffin: (To any religious person) It's self-righteous people who still believe in that fantasy crap is the reason why I'm an atheist!
Frollo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame): And it's know-it-all sinners like you that make me dream of burning heretics in Hellfire!

Vilgax (Ben 10: Omniverse)(To any kid character): I hate little kids, they're always ruining my plans! Prepare to be destroyed!
Eric Cartman (as The Coon): Oh. My. F******. God. You look like something my friend Cthulhu s*** out!
Dib: T-this is bigger than Zim! With you, the Swollen Eyeball will have no choice but to accept me back! ...after that unfortunate razor-toothed turkey incident and the hairy-footed onion incident...

Jackie Chan (Jackie Chan Adventures) [Home Depot Stage]: Now this isn't a bad day...
Hank Hill: (King of The Hill) Something that we can both agree on, I tell you what!

Kyle Broflovski: (South Park) (Any fat jerk character): Great, you remind me of another fat-ass I know, I take it you're also a racist sociopath?
Dex (Megaman NT): Hey, I'm no racist or a sociopath!

Sonic The Hedgehog (Sonic SatAM): *to his Sonic Boom counterpart* Bandages? and a bandana? Really?
Sonic (Sonic Boom): Hey, at least I'm trying to live up to the cool Sonic name. You hang out with Dulcy the Dragon for Pete's Sake! That's not way past cool!

Moe (The Simpson) (To a drunk character): Either get off of the sidewalk or come inside, you're blocking the way for paying customers! I get enough of that crap with Barney...
Rick Sanchez: (Rick and Morty) *Hic* Y-you know, I was going to enter a-and *Burps* ask for some scotch, but not with that attitude of yours!

Deadpool: (To any character that breaks the fourth wall) Let’s see who's the true fourth wall breaking master!
Pinkie Pie: Okie Dokie Lokie!

Demona (Gargoyles): Humanity will soon fall at my feet, you will be but the first.
Bender: (Futurama): Beat it sister, I was planning it first!

Black Star (Soul Eater) (To any religious character): I will be the one who will surpass God! Err…While are you glaring at me?
Ned Flanders: Well, diddly-dang darn it. I'll just have to teach you the word of the Lord...the hard-diddly-ard way!

Tim (The Cleveland Show): [to Yogi] "Smarter than the av-ur-age bear", huh? Well, we'll, uh, we'll see who's- who's know, af- after we fight.
Yogi Bear: Hey, Hey! You're look like you're well fed like my buddy Pooh! (4th wall
Break: Just as smart as him too...) *brandishes claws* Now show me the goods!

Rattlesnake Jake (Rango): I will now take this time to remember you as you are at this moment! Afraid and soiling yourself.
Yosemite Sam (Looney Tunes): So it's a firefight you want, eh? Well I ain't scared of ya, ya lil rattlin' varmint! *Shoots guns in the air*

Elsa (Frozen) (To a character from a terrible animated movie): So what your moving picture will never be as loved as Frozen? You should... Let It Go! *Shoots snow in the air*
Robin (Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo): What? You aren't Slade... TELL ME WHERE HE IS!
Starfire (Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo): I have never heard of The Frozen.
Cyborg (Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo): Why are you attacking me?! Is it because I am half-robot!?!
Beast Boy (Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo): Yeah the elephant in the room is me, I pander to furries.
Raven (Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo): Azula! Megatron! Cheerios!

Scary Terry (Rick and Morty): [To Mabel Pines] Nice sweater, B****!
Mabel: Thanks, you mean it? Don't care much about the swearing though..

Scary Terry(Rick and Morty): [To Dipper Pines] Nice hat, B****!
Dipper: THe book doesn't tell me anything about a parody of a 80s horror movie icon!

Numbuh Two (KND) (To any pilot): Let's see your piece of junk can beat mine!
T-Bone (Swat Kats): What? Junk?! Kid, you know what they say about throwing stones while living in glass houses.

Wendy Testaburger (to Cartman): Ready for yet another beating, you lard?
Cartman: *****, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts this time!

Brian Griffin (To Glen Quagmire): At least I didn't have sex with a 12 year old crossing guard, you ****ing pedophile!
Quagmire: That is it, you're Giggity-Giggity-gone!

Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas): Let's make a wager, shall we? I get your soul if you lose, Fair?
Doctor Facilier (The Princess and the Frog)(To Oogie Boogie): Ah, sounds like my kind of wager. The odds are in my favor, so I hope you don't mind being a slimy green frog for the rest of your days... it would be an improvement!

Professor Oak (Pokemon): Are you a boy or a girl? Or, more importantly, do you think you can squeeze into this Pokeball for me?
Myotismon: I am a male you senile old fool. You humans are fools to think I will fit in that ball!

Hun (TMNT 2003): (To any character breaking the fourth wall) Who are you talking to? There's no one there!
Yosemite Sam (To Hun): Never mind who I am talking to, you milk-drinking galoot!

Dr. Zalost (Courage the Cowardly Dog): You will soon know true sadness!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb): Oh, true sadness, oh woe is me! Now enough fake crying, say hello to my Sadinator! *Whips out giant crying baby doll with a gun in its mouth*

Terrence (Foster's Home)(To another teenage character): You're even stupider than me! And lame too!
Robbie (Gravity Falls): Pssh, you look like you make out with pillows or something... whatever...

Irwin (Billy and Mandy): I'll take you out with mad style yo!
Naruto: My style is the way of the ninja! Believe it!

Hank Hill: [to any of the Ikkitousen girls] Bwaah! Put some gotdang clothes on, or I'm gonna kick your ass!
Sonsaku Hakufu: What's wrong with the way we dress? (Flips skirt, showing panties)

Chowder: (To an obscure character) Wow, someone actually remembered you? People forgot about us in just a few years.
Braveheart Lion (Care Bears): Try being forgotten for decades.

Gargamel (The Smurfs): Out of my way! I have to capture those wretched little smurfs!
Wile E. Coyote: [holds up sign that reads "I have to catch a roadrunner, but you'll do just fine"]

Lisa Simpson) (To either Brian Griffin or Hayley Smith) At least I genuinely stand firm in my beliefs, you're just doing this to stroke your own ego!
Hayley Smith: Oh right, I'm the attention-seeker, Ms. Play My Sax Everywhere!

Flash (Justice League): Alright, you cur, time to take you for a spin!
Reverse Flash (The Flashpoint Paradox): Does your mouth work faster than your brain? I am not a car, Allen. (*Woosh*)

The Warden (Superjail!): If you lose this friendly sport of pugilism, you'll be ushered into SuperJail via Jailbot!
Early Cuyler: Ain't no jail can hold me! I'm abso-tivicly, posi-tutiously irrepress-icable! Early Cuyler, baby! Whoo!

Stewie Griffin: [to Mikuru Asahina] So how much longer are you gonna let Haruhi keep molesting you? Or is that "classified information"?
Mikaru: I know what won't be classified, me beating a talking baby!

Deadpool: (To a fellow fourth wall breaker) THis topic is near its end and it'll be a damn shame if this ends up in a flame war!
Yakko Warner: I know, right? Dumber than advertised. Anyway, let's go.

Benson (Regular Show): [to Offdensen, from Metalocalypse] Lazy employees, huh? I know that feeling.
Offdenson: Yeah, but they're still my bread and butter, and I won't let anyone (Guitar riff)ing around with them.

Frylock: (ATHF) The chance of you winning is less than Shake accepting responsibility.
Smash Adams (Doug): *cheesy Bond line* You bring a new meaning to fast food!

Warmaster Gorrath (Megas XLR)(To anyone from Earth): Earther scum! Prepare to kiss your jorblochs goodbye!
Phillip J. Fry: Meh, not the first time someone's threatened to destroy Earth.

Brian Griffin: [to a catgirl] I'm not sure whether to date you or bite you.
Callie Briggs (Swat Kats): Right, I think putting you down would be the most humane thing to do.

Nagato Yuki: Enough information has been gathered, prepare for immediate deletion.
Nanobots (Jimmy Neutron): We are the ones who do the deleting around here! We must correct for error, and you are the biggest error we've ever seen!

Tina Belcher (Bob's Burgers): I'd like to touch your butt...first with my hand, then with my foot.
Clarence (Clarence): Really? Wow, never had anybody touch my butt before.

Robot Santa Claus (Futurama): I've made my list and checked it twice, and it seems your ass is on the naughty list! *pulls out guns*
Wakko Warner: That's not a very good rhyme.

Ned (Nightmare Ned): This time, you're the one who's gonna be having nightmares...about the beating I'm about to dish out!
The Joker (BTAS): Oh really? Can anything be more terrifying than a clown?
Venom/Eddie Brock (Spectacular S-M): We're here to crush a spider, get out of my way bro!

Billy: (Billy and Mandy) You hate spiders too? Back in the line, I wanna squish them first!
Popeye: Ug-guh-guh-guh! I won't needs me spinach to beat ya!
Bluto: That's gonna be your mistake ya runt!

Ryu (Street Fighter): It seems your a formidable opponent, I'll be honored to fight you.
Liu Kang (Mortal Kombat): The feeling is mutual, let's hope there won't be any fatalities.

THe Grinch: You think you have won, you think all is well...but kiss my green ass, I'll see you in hell!
Bullhorn (Black Dynamite): Oh my, oh my, I was wondering what was that stench, as it turns out it was that ol' dastard the Grinch!

Poochie (The Simpsons): I'll cave your face in to the extreme!
Mighty Mouse: The only Itchy & Scratchy character better left unseen.

Rocko (Rockos Modern life): What happens if I only kill the cat?
Catdog: I dare ya to try!

Wilt(Fosters home for Imaginary Friends) I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to knock you out now, so sorry!
Tree Trunks: Why, that's quite okay, young man. It's good to see people with manners these days.

Jack Skellington: What's this? What's this? My fist into your face? What's this? What's this? Blood all over the place!
Kwanzaa-Bot: (Futurama) I'm fighting back for Kwanzaa so the children won't miss it. I'm confused about its meaning, but I know it when they diss it!

Squit (The Animaniacs): I'll beat you like Pesto beats me for giving a compliment!
Pesto: (Animaniacs): Are you saying I can't take a compliment? That's what your saying?? THAT'S IT!

Poof (Fairly Oddparents): poof! poof!
Stewie Griffin: Who told you, dammit? I resent- oh, wait, that's your name! Well, then, let's carry on.

Ryofu, from "Ikkitousen": [to a male opponent] Go ahead and stare at 'em if you want; I don't mind. It just makes you easier to hit.
Kouta Tsuchiya (Baka and Test): *Holds up camera* Hit me all you want, I'll get that shot from any angle!

Green Arrow *Draws back bow*: Say cheese!
Monterey Jack (Chip and Dale): *dazed look* Did you say che-e-e-eeese?

Pesto the pigeon: (to Edward Elric) Stop getting so uptight about your height. Geez, is that what I've been doing to Squit this whole time? I have issues.
Edward Elric: A talking bird!? Are you another of Tuckers chimeras? What's with that accent?

Finn (Adventure Time): You are doing down! So down, not even Glob would be able to see you!
Francis Griffin: (to Finn) "Glob"? Blasted heathen, take your pagan diety back to hell with you!

Zoidberg: (to Roger, from "American Dad) Hey, I know you! Buddy, it's me, Zoidberg! Remember your good pal, Zoidberg? Why are we fighting, when we could go out for lunch, maybe? Dead pigeons are on me.
Roger (American Dad): Sorry Zoidy, I have 7 grand riding on this, I can't back out or Enrique will shank me, I hope we remain besties!

Gwendolyn Tennyson (Ben 10,000 era): I thought I was facing someone good, not some B-Team dweeb!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool.

Carl [Aqua Teen]: (to Lemongrabs) Oh, great. Another food monster. Look, just go bother Fryman or something. I don't want none.

Hak Foo (Jackie Chan Adventures): RAGING RHINO CHARGES HARD!

Don Karnage (TaleSpin): (To another pirate) I shall slice and dice you into fruit salad!
Sticky Beard (KND): Bleh! Fruits!? Salads?! That is blasphemy you're spittin', I'l stretch you thinner than taffy if you spit that poison at me again!

Rick Sanchez: W-w-w-w-w-what are you *burps* planning on doing h-homie? You're gonna-You're gonna hit me with that weak ****? Huh? Is that... I-Is that what you're gonna do? Huh??
Riley (Boondocks): *****, you ain't ****. I'm-a stick this glock up yo ass and pull the trigger.

Prinny (Disgaea): [to another penguin] Yo, dude! You ready to brawl, dude?
Pingu: NOOT! NOOT!
Skipper: (Penguins of Madagascar) I’ll have you smile and wave you win away without the boys!

Jake Long: (To another dragon) Alright dawg, let the best dragon win! Which is going to be me!
Toothless: *fires thunderbolt*
Hiccup: No sweat, bud. You can definitely take him.

(So it's clear, yes, this is actually a single scene that includes other pirates being caught off guard with Luffy's ambitions.)
Monkey D. Luffy (to another pirate): No matter what you do or say, there can only be one King of the Pirates, & THAT'S ME!
Vaan(FF XII): Er, just for clarification, but does that also extend to sky pirates?
Futurama Space Pirates: Yarr, & what about space pirates?
Luffy: ....Yes!
Captain Hook: (to Luffy) There can be only ONE king! I'm not giving the title to some FREAK!
Cap'n Crunch: *Background* Now Hook, that was in bad taste...
Stickybeard:*Background* What would you know about taste when your cereal tastes like dirt?!

Space Ghost: Yeah, if you lose this, you have to fetch my coffee every week for three years!
Mad Hatter: COFFEE?! You are going to fetching me TEA instead when I'm through with you!

Porky Pig: A-a-any l-l-last words? And you b-b-better not say "T-t-t-that's all folks!"
The Joker: The final act! Stop me if you heard this one before, I've been told it's a real squealer!
Cartoon characters in a Injustice style clash 3
My GameFAQs topic is finally filled up and I decided to post them here!

Please note that I don't owe any characters on this board!
Earlier in Twilight’s room…

Moments after teleporting out of the hall, Twilight was back in her room, thinking about what just occurred over these past few hours before weeping quietly.

“Was it all just a joke?” She wondered to herself, “Did no one bothered looking for me?”

She then collapsed to her bed, which was more comfortable than the cold rocks of the caves but even a soft, warm bed did little to soothe her pain. Nonetheless, the unicorn just wanted to fall asleep after such a grueling even happening to her.
Lying in her bed, she thought about all the things what she has said to her former friends, to her former mentor, and her once loved brother. Twilight’s emotions from hurt and confused, to cynical and resentful are all out in an intense battle inside of Twilight’s head.

Twilight’s thoughts are then i mixed up in a swarm of three in a menage-a-trois of voices haunting her:  One is that she had spoken to them” earlier, the second is her thoughts clouding her mind with doubt,  and finally her own spoken words from the aftermath of what had happened earlier:

“Let me ask you then, what if I was wrong? What if that WAS really Cadence just having a bad time? What if that really WAS her pushing all of my so called 'friends' around, talking trash to them and making them feel bad just because she was under a lot of stress? Would you all have STILL allowed me to come?! Because from what I saw, you had no problem going ahead without me!"

They’ve never did cared about you did they?

“No, no they didn’t even seem to noticed that I was gone.” She muttered to herself.

“Sorry Twi, we should’ve listened to you.”

It’s always Applejack to clean up everypony’s messes, while the others are too spineless to admit it.

“Yeah, and besides, she was the one who said that they should go check on the imposter.”

“I just wanted you to make some friends.”
You never even wanted to make friends with them to begin with.

"I all wanted is to make Princess Celestia proud and looked what I got as a reward…"

“Otherwise, save your fake remorse, because deep down, none of you are truly sorry at all.”

Look how everyone mastered crocodile tears, it’s pathetic! Even if they were sincere, it’s too late!  They’ve never believed you so why should you believe them?

“How could they treat me this way? All I was trying to do was to help them.”
“If I recalled, you shunned me like a rain rotter when we were at the reception, at least the princess and my brother had the decency to call me out.”  

Yes, even when the Changeling Queen treated them like dirt but decided to abandon you instead, being tricked is no excuse.

“I was right about being used by them, maybe I picked the wrong friends.”

“Yes, because I said it before that it’s cowardly hypocrisy, it a sign of weakness,”

Their regret is only rubbing salt on your wounds isn’t it? It is like domestic abusers begging for forgiveness even after their partners are battered beyond recognition.

“They only want me to use me as their scapegoat and they actually had the gall to bribe me, that it’ll all be over in the end.”

“But even if I did that and my brother would still defend the imposter, and the real question is: Would you and the rest take my side?"

Of course, even if you did gathered evidence, they still wouldn’t side with you…

“They were all eager to take on her side, instead of mine…except Spike, at least he admits that he was scared of being left out.”

“But you expect to destroy my trust in all of you and then think we're going to shake hooves?”

It’s only fair for you to shun them, spite them, and hate them like they’ve hated you!

“Yeah, how could I forgive them after what they’ve done to me?”

“I thought you will vouch for me ever since I almost gone crazy over the lack of Friendship Reports.”

Let’s face the facts; if you were wrong after all, the others would never forgiven you.

“They all blew it! They all had their chances…”

“We never knew that there was an imposter. I made a mistake that I now regret deeply.”

She ruled over a millennium and thought having a wedding on same day is a great idea? Hate to say it but Princess Celestia’s mind had been addled over the years…

“And she couldn’t tell her own niece from that faker.”

“I thought you will vouch for me ever since I almost gone crazy over the lack of Friendship Reports.”

But they never did vouch for you did they?!

“It seems they want noting to do with me, well then, let me be that hated mare. The one who ruined it all…”

She closed her eyes before saying to herself,

“I wonder what the others did when I was gone?”

Before Twilight knew it, her mind clears before drifting into a slumber.

In her dream, the unicorn was outside the bride’s or rather the changeling queen’s bedroom with the sound of her fake crying.  Surrounding the door, were Princess Celestia, her once-called brother, and her so-called friends. Confused on wondering why nopony is paying attention to her, she trotted closely to them. Until a thought of realization come to her head.

“This must be where they went after they left me,” Twilight thought to herself, “But they still couldn’t just shun me when I’m right behind them.”

She reached her hoof to touch Princess Celestia, until her said hood went passed through her. Twilight was intangible like a ghost to them, like how she felt after they left her. The broken mare turned around to see them with all angry faces, all except Spike that is.

“What on earth are we going to do?” Princess Celestia wondered, “Cadence refuses to come out of her room, and then we have Twilight to deal with. I’ve never been so disappointed with her in all my life!”

“Well, he’s no sister of mine,” Shining coldly declared. “Wait until I spoke to my parents about this, what they’ll do to her is a slap on a hoof compare to what they will do.”

“You said it partner!” Applejack agreed, “Listen, we regret ever making friends with her, if she’s been like that! You did the right thing by kicking her flank out.”

“The only reason we’re bothering with her is because she’s the wielder of the Element of Magic.” Rarity huffed, “I never expected her to act such a shrew but I  guess we have all seen her true colors!”

“Perhaps Fate had chosen the wrong pony,” Fluttershy said outloud, “Like how we had chosen that meanie Twilight.”

“There’s always wrong with that party-pooping buzzkill,” Pinkie Pie said. “She thinks she’s better than us!”

Twilight was beyond hurt, was it really how they all felt when she acted up in the rehearsal?  She refused they would go that far until she remembered what she’d said to them earlier.

“Oh, I’m being too harsh?” Twilight retorted. “If I recalled, you shunned me like a rain rotter when we were at the reception, at least the princess and my brother had the decency to call me out.” 

Suddenly, the same, doubtful voice whispered to her.

Have no shame on what you’ve said to them after the Changeling Queen captured you, by all accounts, you did the right thing on what they’ve done to you. It’s only fair for you to treat them like how they really thought of you. An eye for an eye, after all.

Before she can answer herself, Twilight turned and see Rainbow Dash rising up to the ceiling to get everypony’s attention.

“Well it’s a long shot, but we may know someone who can replace Twlight,” The Pegasus mare called out to everyone, “But she’s the next best thing than that worthless egghead!”

“Who is it?” Princes Celestia asked, “We may not even know if anyone can replace her, as much as we all know what Twilight has done.”

“All of us are willing to take that risk, your highness,” Applejack assured her, “You see, back then, there was a traveling showmare who claims to be the best magician in all of Equestria.”

“I remember her too,” Rarity nodded, remember also, “Her name is Trixie and she could be Twilight’s replacement!”

“Hold on, didn’t you all forget how she humiliated all of you and her boasting got Snips and Snails got an Ursa Minor into Ponyville?” Spike protested, “She saved the town while Trixie ran away like the coward she is”!

“You also forgot that Twilight could’ve stood up for us when she challenged her,” Dash said to him. “I’d say that’s cowardly for her, and besides, we can manage!”

“You’re either with us or against us!” Applejack warned him.

Shining Armor nodded, “Perhaps she might be of use after all, but after Trixie is proven to be a better friend, Twilight’s gotta go!"

"So what will it be Spike?” Rarity asked “Either you can be with us or be with that nag!”

Spike looked around with their eyes focusing on him, outnumbered and outmatched, he sighed before stepping forward.

“Glad you decided to party with us!” Pinkie Pie finally smiled, “I knew you picked the right choice!”

“Yeah…I did…” Spike said sadly.

“Now this is over, find someone else to be the Wielder of Magic. Because, I now wish to relinquish my position of the Elements of so-called Harmony.”

Look at how easily they’ve turned on you Twilight, makes you glad that you got to them first?

B-but I’m not sure if they’ll actually do such a thing,” Twilight asked skeptically,  “Would they’ve done it when I was at the underground caverns?”

It’s how you’ve felt what matters, even if they didn’t replace you in real life, none of them bothered to go looking for you.

“Then it’s settled then,” Princess Celestia decreed, “Not only is Twilight forbidden to attend the wedding but our relationship with her ends.”
Bitterness 3
Holy crap! Is this for real? Have I actually updated?!

Yes, yes I did.

Once again, I'm terribly sorry of what's been going on for this entire year. If you've read my front cover, I'm also in a need for editors as well.  I will update and edit my chapters over time.

I'm also sorry that this chapter is short for its wait but I'll promise to add more later on.

But look on a bright side,  at least I beat Half Life 2's Episode 3 waiting time.

Hope you have a Happy New Year!

First off: Holy crap, I haven't updated my journal for over a year.

Second, thank you everyone for liking my first Death Battle! With :icondimension-dino: s permission, here's the next upcoming battle!
The Saint of New Marais Vs The Feral Green Beast of Brazil
Blanka Vs Cole by PLCTheCd
The next battle after, which of these duel wielding babes will win? Agent Tanya Adams of Red Alert or "Two-Hands" Revy of Black Lagoon?
Tanya Vs Revy by PLCTheCd


United States
Current Residence: Texas but we ain't cowboys...ya'll
deviantWEAR sizing preference: XXL
Favourite genre of music: Ska, old school rap, punk rock, and good ol' southern music
Favourite photographer: Peter Parker (Aka Spider Man)
Favourite style of art: All sorts
Operating System: Windows XP
Skin of choice: I ain't racist
Favourite cartoon character: Too many to list...
Personal Quote: Yogi: "Hey Boo-boo, let's get these N00bs and steal their pic-a-nic baskets!"

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DJWill Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Happy Brithday ^^ :cake::party::highfive:
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015

Solartiger43 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
Happy birthday and many more
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015


And many more!
Solartiger43 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
you're welcome
PsychoDemonFox Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Haaappy Birthday! Bonnie is a Boss (Chat Icon) Chica does the Chicken Dance! (Chat Icon) Dancing Foxy Chat Icon 
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
Thanks and finally they aren't going to stuff me into a suit!
PsychoDemonFox Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Nah, they just want to help celebrate your birthday!

...Just watch your back, ok?
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
I will! :XD:
Kervala Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
Happy birthday Peter :D :party: :iconhappybirthdaysignplz:  
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