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CARTOON RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!


*A huge cabal of cartoon monsters from various shows is gathered in a large hall with a stage at the end flanked by giant lit-up pumpkins and chained up skeletons*

A Voice From Nowhere
Ladies and monsters, welcome to the show
Please quiet down, and watch our rappers have a go!

*The monsters continue to roar and bellow, when suddenly Him appears in a puff of fire on stage*

Him (Yelling)
I said quiet down, you ingrates!

*The monsters suddenly fall silent*

Him
Ah, the sound of silence is so great
Now let's see who wins this battle of fate!

Katz (Courage the Cowardly Dog)

vs…

Grim (Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)


*Katz and Grim walk from opposite sides of the stage, mics in hand*

Him
I'm so happy to present some Halloween fun!
You know the rules: that there are none!
Rip each other to shreds until you've won!

BEGIN!

*Him disappears in a shroud of flames and Katz step forward as the fire dies down and a Horrorcore beat starts up*

Katz (Verse One)
Charmed to meet you Grim, or is it Mr. Reaper?
I always see you with kids, so it must be Grim Creeper.
You're a half-rate star from a split down feature
Grim and Evil? Please, I'm either and you're neither.
Two empty sockets but I hope you open your eyes
To see you're less scary than Death from Family Guy.

Grim (Verse One)
Katz mon, I hear dis sort of bluster all of da time
Men begging and purrs of mercy from wretched felines!
We've met before, I'll remind ya since you're unhinged:
Ya shook my bony hand afta your Ball of Revenge!
On da other hand, I'm Grim, slim and full of brimstone
Ya can't beat an old couple's dog while I'm bad to da bone!

Katz (Verse Two)
Speaking of bones, dear boy, I know which one to pick
I'll toss your pelvis to Saliva so he can chew on your prick.
You're a hero at heart, let a real villain have a turn
You barely use your scythe, give it back to Jack O'Lantern.
I have a myriad of disguises, you have a dirty gown
With you and Billy as friends, it's no wonder Mandy frowns.

Grim (Verse Two)
Tryin' ta talk about friends, mon? Ya don't wanna do dat
Ya stay hangin' around spiders cuz ya can't get any kat!

Katz (Verse Three)
You'll wish you hadn't done that pitiful comeback
Stick you in a sack then string you like taffy on a rack.

Grim (Verse Three)
Taffy won't gimme a scare, stick ta your Tea-N-Tea
And let da Reaper know what it's like Unda Da Sea!

Katz (Verse Four)
Chuckle now but a bit of sport will end this struggle
Perhaps a game of limbo in honor of Mr. Snuggles?

Grim (Verse Four)
I have two blasted kids, one pooch makes you sweat
It doesn't take Courage ta see ya aren't a threat!

Katz (Verse Five)
It's a pity but when I die, I'll keep my composure
I'll only have to deal with this Daddy Daycare poser.

Grim (Verse Five)
Dis trash is leavin' my poor bones achin'
Time you learned about dis necrotic Jamaican!
What ya see on TV ain't all dere is ta me
Da Reaper's scythe swings indiscriminately!
I'll bring and Billy and Mandy to watch da beheadin'
And dere ain't "No Dogs Allowed Signs" where you'll be headin'!

Him
Who won?
Who's next?
I decide!
A late Halloween rap written by my friend in GameFAQS, Cartoon Network's finest: KAtz from Courage the Cowardly Dog facing off Grim from the Grim Adventures of Billy and MAndy

Both shows belong to their rightful owners.
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Submitted on
November 30, 2016
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