ERB: Angelica Vs. Sarah

(Jimmy and Sarah are in a cafeteria, where the last slice of pie is being served)

Jimmy: Look it this Sarah, isn’t it neat?

Sarah:  Well, it looks like you have me beat!

Jimmy:No worries Sarah, I’ll share with you!
After all, that’s what friends do.

Mysterious Voice: Hey girly boy, are you gonna eat that pie or what?

(The two turned around and sees a toddler in blonde pigtails stamping in feet impatiently)

Jimmy: Now, now little girl, too much pie is bad for your gut!

(Angelica shoves Jimmy aside) :

Angelica: :  You’re not my mom, metal mouth! You’re holding up the line with your chit-chat!

Sarah: (Pulls up her sleeves) : Hey, what’s the big idea, you little brat?!

Jimmy: Sarah, don’t! You get into trouble! Use words not fists unlike the Eds!

CARTOON RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Sarah: (Looks at Jimmy, then at Angelica before sighing in defeat): :  Consider yourself lucky I didn’t bust your head

ANGELICA!

Angelica: :  You want this pie? I challenge you to a bat rattle!

VS….

(Sarah simply stares at her for a second and then realizes what she meant)

SARAH!!!

BEGIN!

Sarah: :  
It’s called a “Rap Battle” you dummy, and you’ve already lost!
You can’t even say things right and I’ll show you whose boss!
Like how you boss Tommy around while you stuff your face with Reptar Bars
Run to the grown-ups to cry while I can lift a whole car!
I thought my brother’s dumb, but you make him look smart!
By challenging me, you’ll be verbally torn apart!
Everyone will celebrate what you are dead and done!
I’ll grab you by the pigtails, and then hurl you to the sun,

Angelica: :
Would you stop screaming? You’re hurting my ears!
Eat a breath mint, your breath is the one truly feared!
The way you treat your brother is worse than the words I “a-boose”
I’m only three years old, so what’s your own excuse?!
By the way you treat your brother, I’m glad that I’m an only child!
You make the Donnie Thornberry kid look tame and mild!
Cynthia said that people treat me better than you!
Your life is like your doll, it’s full of Polly Poo-Poo!

Another voice: : Hey hurry up, my grilled cheese is getting cold!
Or face my busting rhymes that are about to unfold!

(The two turned around and see a teenage redheaded girl dressed in a red shirt and white skirt with hands on her hips glaring at them.)

NEW CHALLENGER HAS ARRIVED!

CANDACE FLYNN:

Candace::
So it comes to this, some bratty kids that need to be busting!
I thought my brothers are untrusting but you two are completely disgusting!
Sarah, you make Jeremy’s sister Susie look like a complete saint!
And Angelica, you’re not fooling me with those red-handed fingerpaint!
In fact, I think I know what I’m going to do today!
To bust some rhymes and ruin both of your days!
Angelica, you’re a scared little girl who makes Chuckie look brave!
And tell me Jimmy, your so-called friend is treating you like a slave!

Sarah: (Unknowingly pushes Jimmy out of the way) :

YOU LEAVE JIMMY OUTTA THIS!
It’s between me and you grandma, now I can finally say pissed!
This is the rap before your time and you’re going down longneck!
If THIS WASN’T A RAP, I WOULD’VE GIVEN YOU A DECK!
(Regains her composure)  It’s funny you mentioned me and Jimmy
When you should think about your boo Jeremy!
Call Stacy and Jenny that you’ve taken for grants
Because I think they more than just squirrels in their pants!

Candace:  
Oh that’s it, you’re going down!
I just had enough from this trash talking clown!
You call me bad? You’ve forced all the kids to do your chores!
May, Marie, and Lee Kanker said you’re the real sore
Eddy was right about fairy tales aren’t real
Like how you won’t win this rap, now that’s Eddy’s better deal!
Calling me grandma? Then respect your elders you froggy hag!
Everyone’s afraid of a brat on her permanent rag!

Mysterious Voice: AHEM!

Both Sarah and Candace:  WHAT?!

(They both saw a new girl where Angelica was, she’s around Nazz’s age, and with blonde hair. For both Sarah and Candace, there was something familiar with this new girl)

Angelica:
Alright you two, I’m back and all grown up!
Which is better said than both of you breaking up.
It’s like your show Candace, completely repetitive!
This rap is ending with me, with no alternative!
It won’t be pretty Sarah, and in fact it will cost ya!
Your purgatory theory is wackier than my own creepypasta!
Speaking of which, I’m stuck with two snitches who are total twitches
And everyone knows snitches getting stiches!

Sarah:  “Twitches?”

(Both Sarah and Candace stared at her and then at each other in confusion, until Candace breaks the silence):

Candace:  Oh, you mean “Witches” right?

Angelica: Yeah, that too…

WHO WON?!

WHO GETS THE PIE?!

YOU DECIDE!!

CARTOON…RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!